the_cupbearer | OPEN BAR POST

Entry tags:

open post

OPEN BAR POST

The bar is open!

Anyone is welcome at 4713, and the bartenders are happy to carry on a conversation for anyone that needs company to drink with. Tiqua--the lead bartender when Ganymede's not there, and the shift manager when he is--says she makes the best Black Velvet ever...blackberry imperial stout and champagne, that is. Ganymede is more than likely there too, just look for the smiling man with long hair braided back, but there's plenty of booths and tables as well, just be careful of you you sit with. They might not always be strangers.

[ this is an open post! feel free to drop off notes or things, or just hop in to talk to Ganymede if you want ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well that was information that could send him right over the edge into rage. A whore. A prostitute. As if that would make him any less of a person. This wasn't about his own anger though and that wasn't fair to the man he loves. He's going through something and all Ashley can do is try to get through it with him and not make it about himself.

"First, there isn't any shame in sex work." Ashley had slept with plenty of strippers, even paid a couple to take care of him in the back room during a dry spell. They had been good, sweet girls just trying to make money like everyone else. Even dated a porn model and learned that when it came to women, he was an ass man and did not love the fake boob look. Still, just a job. Not a stain on a persons character. In general he didn't care for people who treated others like shit for how they made money. If you aren't hurting anyone and it's consensual? More power to you. "Second, coming from an asshole who has to have people paid to keep his bed warm, like they all did, his opinion of you shouldn't carry so much weight. They use people. I am so fucking sorry he used you. That he treated you like you weren't good enough for him. He knows your insecurities and he used that to control you and get what he wanted. That's all."

The last time he had talked to Jasper, to try to be a decent person and keep him from being punished for talking to Ashley about his world, he learned exactly what he had meant to him all along. Jasper had needed a warm body to make him feel again, that's all Ashley had been to him. Must run in the 'family', treating people like whores and disposing of them once they asked for what they were owed. Like respect or love. If he ever saw any of them again it would be impossible to stop him from ripping them apart. Just to stop them from doing this to anyone else.

"I don't know what to do to help you through this. But, I'm not going anywhere."

Ganymede just shook his head, shifting in Ashley's hold and wanting to get down. "I'm just... I'm fucking angry that I let him do it," he managed, wanting to take a swing at something, anything. He was just angry that he'd let himself not see it, and had tried to defend Armarus to the man holding him now. He fisted his hands, squeezing tight and picking up a decorative glass candle dish, something moderately heavy, and handy, that he could throw. That it was shaped like a sunflower, his ex's favorite flower to give him, just helped him not care about it shattering.

"I've done pornography before. And hell I've been a prostitute before. But nobody's ever called me that and wanted to make it as dirty as he did. And...I believed him. I'm such an idiot."

As soon as he felt him shift in his arms Ashley let his grip go and let Ganymede stand back up. He wouldn't try to contain him. When he grabbed the dish to throw Ashley took hold of his wrist to stop him. It wasn't a tight grip, the intent was not to hurt him just get his attention.

"Ganymede." He said his name to get his attention. "Stop. Please. We were just fucking happy. I just asked you to marry me. You're letting him win. Letting him diminish you even though he is gone!"

Ashley swore right then he would find a way to ruin him. He could do it from a distance. Has the connections, the money and the power to make it happen.

"You aren't an idiot. You're fucking brilliant. You just fell for the wrong asshole and wanted it to be real. I did it to! But you're going to look back on tonight and beat yourself up for this. You're letting him win and he doesn't matter."

When Ganymede calms down or in a week or a month thinks back on this night Ash knows he'll be so upset with himself that this happened. It breaks his heart to not know how to help him through this. It also hurts to have a night that felt so wonderful and full of hope turn into this.

"I never wanted to be this guy. Never...but you have got to make a choice. Right fucking now. It's me or him. You choose us and let this shit go. Because. He. Doesn't. Matter. I'm here and I love you so much...but right now? You're letting him control you and ruining something really special."

At the hand on his wrist, and the soft sound of his given name, the reminder that there was a choice in this, and it was only his...all the fight, the anger, the energy went out of him ike a popped balloon. Ganymede dropped the glass dish to the floor, sucking in a halting breath.

"...It's you, baby," he whispered, shaking his head and biting down hard on his lip though he didn't look away, willing the man standing in front of him to believe him. "It's always going to be you, Ashley." He wasn't the person to walk away from something unless he had no other choice, and this was nothing more than proof of that: but it was time to admit to himself it was over, well and truly, and there was nothing to be done to get what he'd had back. It hurt in a way he couldn't describe, and he hated it, he wanted to be angry, but he couldn't be right now. Not with the look on his lover's face.

He knew Ashley had been hurt, unbelievably so, by the people who had left him before, had turned away from him for nothing more than selfish reasons, and Ganymede never wanted to be one of them. "You're mine. And I'm yours."

Right now in this moment he felt more pain then Jasper had ever made him feel. He had been so certain. So confident. He was the one. Ashley was ready to do something he never thought he would do again. And then Armarus found way to ruin it, to take it from them both. He hurt because he thought Ganymede was in the same place he was, which was his own fault for making assumptions. Ashley had let Jasper go. There were things that hurt, sure. But not to this degree. He knew they would get there but Ganymede needed more time.

"I love you." He said softly. "You're mine. I'm yours. But you're not ready."

Fucking hell, he could just throw himself off a bridge right now.

"I'm going to go," He took a deep breath. "Up to my room, okay? And lay down. I want to lay under my stars and just chill for a minute." Another breath and he looked at Ganymede. "I'm not leaving. I love you."

But he needed a minute to clear his head. And fuck, he needed a puppy to cuddle. Ash paused and kissed his love deeply. "I love you." He says again.

Then he kicks off his shoes and wanders off to find Felix and go cuddle him under the twinkling lights in his room.

Edited 2023-07-19 03:40 (UTC)

Ganymede stayed standing exactly where he was, unmoving and still as stone while he watched Ashley turn and walk away, barely breathing. There were so many thoughts in his head, all clamoring to get out that it was little more than a full roaring sound between his ears. He lost all track of time, rooted to that spot until he could barely feel his legs, concentrating so much on the feel that had been Ashley's lips on his.

Walking up to the halway where he'd put Ashley's room, sinking down beside the door with Ameera and Maelie in his lap, a heavy if comforting weight.

With his sense of hearing he picked up every sound. Every heavy foot step from the man he loved. Ashley laid there on the bed, petting Felix's head, staring at his starry sky. He didn't know what to say. What he knew was that a mere matter of minutes between them made him ache.

"Fe," He said to the puppy on his chest. "I gotta go get Daddy."

He knew Ganymede wouldn't open the door. Wouldn't beg. And Ashley didn't want him to. It wasn't about submitting to what Ash wants. The tiny pup was gently set on his pillow. Ashley opened the door. He reached down and pet both of the dogs before shooing them away from their owners lap.

Ashley didn't say a damn word and accepted if his actions caused Ganymede to freak out. He bent down and scooped the other man into his arms. "Please don't fight me." Was the whispered plea against his loves cheek. "I'm sorry."

Edited 2023-07-19 04:48 (UTC)

"Don't be sorry," he said softly, merely tucking himself in against Ash when he got scooped up like he didn't weigh anything. He only wrapped his arms around his love's shoulders, fingers fisting tight in his shirt. Ganymede had hated being picked up with Armarus, even if logically he'd known the man wouldn't drop him. But he hadn't trusted it innately, not in the very core of his being like he did when Ashley touched him. He was solid, warm, so easy to love it felt effortless.

"I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry it's you, and it's been you since we stayed up all night and watched the stars." He took a deep breath, tightening his hold on Ashley and squeezing with his whole body. He lifted his head not caring about the half-dry tear tracks down his face, resting against Ash. His love, his lover, his anchor in a rough sea. "I'm not ready yet. But my choice is you, Ashley Ira Cromwell Savery."

What Ganymede says, Ashley knows. He knows they are right. That this has been happening for longer then they both wanted to admit. That Ganymede wasn't ready for it. He's not sure what to do about that last part.

"I love you. It's as simple and as complicated as that." As strong and as gifted as he is, there is no fix for what is going on with the man in his arms. Ashley hates that he can't change anything, just wait. He kissed the end of his nose. "I'm not sorry it's me and I know it is. I know that I belong to you. I just needed to know you believed it to."

He set Ganymede down on the bed and kissed the top of his head. Ashley scooped the puppy up and glanced at the door to see the other dogs waiting. "Wait here. I'm going to take the babies to bed."

Ashley was quick about taking the dogs down to their room and tucking them back in.

He stood in the door of the room where he had left Ganymede. Just watching the man he loved so much. "I shouldn't have pushed you to say something I already know."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

OPEN BAR POST

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject