the_cupbearer | OPEN BAR POST

"You're mine," Ganymede laughed, voice thick but happy, and overwhelmed with emotion. He didn't need all the flowers, the people, the fancy clothes just to say something he and Ashley both felt: that they were right for each other. That he didn't even feel like he was falling, but like he'd known Ash for decades, and had just woken up to the realization that he loved him.

"You're my everything, Ashley. I wouldn't--" he didn't bother to finish the sentence, only squeezing his lover tight as they drove. He was going to say he wouldn't keep going if Ashley left him, he wouldn't find another person that made him feel alive and young and worthwhile like this, but he didn't want to tread into that subject so easily. "I love you, Ash. For as long as you'll let me."

"Hope you're good with forever then. Because I'm not a fucking quitter." That's what he wanted and what he would give him. Forever. He wasn't a quitter. Didn't give up when things got hard. And he knew with certainty that everything that had happened before had been just leading him here. That gave him the peace he needed to just let it go. None of it matter if this is where it lead.

Ganymede didn't need to say what he was thinking. Ashley was thinking the same. This one would break him if it ended. Rip him apart in ways that could never be fixed. Instead of that scaring him it inspired him. Do better. Be better. Try harder. Be the man who deserves the love he is being given. The safety and security of a partner who not only understood him but saw his flaws and loves those too. He knows what he has is rare, he never thought he would find it, now that he has it there is no way he'll let it go.

He pulls the bike over to park at Ganymede's place. Tugging the helmet from his head his hair is a mess but he looks incredibly happy. He let's his love get off the bike before his swings his leg over. Standing in front of him he helps fiddle with the strap of the helmet and ease it off his head. Holding his face in his hands Ashley smiles at him. "I love you, Ganymede. Even when we have shitty days. Even when we fight. I'll never give up on you. Marry me. Be mine."

Ganymede laughs, leaning back on the bike and holding Ash close by the waist, bissfully happy. "Yes, Ashley," he chuckles, pulling him in for a long, sweet kiss. "Yes, I will marry you."

He rests his forehead againsst Ashley's, giddy still and unwiling to let go. It was so much that he'd never had, never expected or thought he wanted until Ash. He wanted to stay here in this embrace forever, and know that no matter how long it took him to get his words out, his lover would stay.

"You are ridiculous, and I love you," he chuckled, looking at the ring on his finger and the stone it held. He loved the scrollwork and detail on the sides, and the color-changing stone that he recognized. "You got zultanite," he murmured, obviously touched. "From where I'm from."

Edited 2023-07-17 20:50 (UTC)

Ash never thought he would ever ask the question again. The first person he had asked was an act of desperation to try to fix something that he couldn't fix. Noah had been an alcoholic with a lifetime of trauma that needed a therapist, not a wedding ring. Ashley had done it for all of the wrong reasons. Not once had he thought I love him so much, I want to make a declaration of that love and a commitment. He had thought, maybe he'll believe I love him and stop doing these other things. When Jasper had asked Ashley said okay but as he told Oni, because it didn't matter. It was just paper. That's how it felt when applied to his last relationship. Paper that didn't matter, that would change nothing. It had felt more like being claimed as a prize, not finding where he belonged. It certainly never felt like an act of love.

With Ganymede it had hit him so unexpectedly and felt completely different. Just a rush of thought as they had been sitting in the tub. He just thought this is it, this is my person and I never want to know another day without him in it, he's mine and I'm his, this is the one. It had felt like it should feel, a gesture of love and commitment to the man he is in love with. Ashley had never felt that way before. Nothing about how he feels being with Ganymede feels like anything he has ever experienced before. It is profound. Deep. Ash took the hand with the ring on it and laced their fingers together and held them against his chest.

"It's unique and beautiful and strong. like you, and it's from where you are from." The ring didn't need to be a reflection of Ashley sitting on his lovers hand. He wanted it to be something that fit his partner and who he is, not who Ash is. It had been important to him that it was a masculine ring but not modern or flashy yet still it needed to have style. He thought it would look good with the other rings he liked to wear and the colors would look great against his skin. Ashley had actually put a lot of thought into the purchase, something he rarely did. "Something traditional just felt wrong." A plain band of gold? That didn't feel right either. "I know this is really fast. I know. I just...I don't know why people think the amount of time you have loved someone is relevant to how deeply you love them, or how committed you are to them. I know you're my person, Ganymede. I've never been so certain about anything before in my life."

Edited 2023-07-17 22:16 (UTC)

"It's not too fast, baby," Ganymede chuckled, shaking his head. "I love you, and I will love you in a year, or six more months, and it doesn't matter when this happened." He squeezed Ashley's hand over his heart, stepping forward to bring Ashley into a soft kiss. He could have tried for years to explain how Ash made him feel, and he would have fallen short of it even after a century. He just...felt everything for this man; love, lust, friendship, everything.

"You make me feel secure, and...it's not like falling," he murmured. "I feel like I've always known this, like I picked you before I knew what was happening. And when he left me, you didn't let me get lost. You stayed with me," Ganymede said softly. "And I want you to stay with me forever."

"Because you're mine. You were never his. You have always been mine. I stay and will always stay because...I'm me when I'm with you. And I know you finally get to be who you really are."

His arms went around Ganymede. "So. Does this mean were exclusive and you can delete your Grindr account? Cause I've been working over time sliding into fuckbois DMs to tell them to back off."

Ganymede nuzzled into Ashley and sucked his bottom lip between his teeth in a gentle bite, licking into his lover's mouth gently, slow and sensual until they broke apart and he couldn't avoid a laugh, quick and like a punch of ausement.

"No, I cannot delete my Grindr account!" he laughed, arms still around Ash's neck. "Not unless I can send you all the pictures and messages to your cell. Have you even seen my Grindr?" he chuckled.

"Ganymede! Yeah, I've fucking seen it..." He takes both his hands and starts walking them back toward the building. "Why the hell do you think I want it deleted? I don't want any fucking douches seeing my husband like that, thinking you're available."

"Your husband," Ganymede echoes, ducking his head and smiling at the ring stil on his hand. "I think I like that. And...I think I could see my way to deleting it. Maybe. If you convince me," he chuckles.

"My. Husband." He repeated, loving the way Ganymede looks. As if something very special had just happened hearing those words. Looking at him right then with that smile on his beautiful face he knew there was nothing he wouldn't do for him.

"Convince you? Kinda though the ring on your finger would do that." Ashley scooped him up, supporting him in his arms as they bumped up against the front door of Ganymede's house. "You know I won't deny you what you need."

"I just need you," he murmurs with a little laugh as Ashley scooped him up, winding arms around his neck. "You know...I hated being picked up, for a long, long time. But with you, I don't."

He felt like he should hate it still, that he should still tense up when his feet left the ground, but Ganymede didn't. "Just talk to me, baby boy."

"I would never let you fall. More importantly, I would never let you go."

Ash pressed his lips softly against his neck. "It's okay, baby. I was just fucking around about Grindr. I trust you."

"I don't ever use it anymore," Ganymede chuckled. "I don't need it. And I don't mind getting rid of it, I just like teasing you. I like it when you laugh and tell me about the fuckboys."

"Seriously though, how many unsolicited dick pics do you get in a day? These shitbags just fling them around like they are Pokemon cards." He teased as he took them inside and pushed the door closed with his foot. Ashley let his hands go and let Ganymede put his feet back on the ground.

"It's okay though, I don't care if they look. I know you're mine." He wasn't a jealous man, he was a territorial man, there is a difference. They belonged to each other and Ashley would protect that. He knew Ganymede would do the same. His lips quirked up at the corners in a devious smile as he walked Ganymede backward, and up against a wall. Was he looking at the other man as if he might be something to eat? Absolutely. "Maybe you should just change your profile picture to one of us. Together. Can we talk about that one picture...in those fucking jeans? I've never wanted to be a pair of jeans so bad in my life."

Ganymede chuckled and shook his head. "I put up a profile of the both of us, and you'll get all the fuckboys asking one of us if we want to watch them screw the other one," he finished, and for a split second his face froze, breath halting and unsure.

"...I...I didn't mean that," he breathed.

Ashley didn't even think of that and Ganymede was probably right. He even started to laugh at what he was saying. His face fell though as he watched Ganymede's face freeze and change very suddenly.

Looking down at him Ash's brow pinched together with concern. Did something happen that he's not aware of? "Ganymede...baby, I don't care if you meant it or not, we were just fucking around, right?" He did not like the change he was seeing in the other. "Did I say something wrong? I really don't give a shit about Grindr. I swear."

He tilted Ganymede's chin up. "What's going on? Talk to me."

"Rabbits," he said softly, shoulders dropping though the rest of him was tensing up. "I didn't mean...rabbits," Ganymede managed. "It's not just fucking. I didn't mean it, I do love you. I just..."

The words had come out like nothing, and abruptly it had all come crashing back down that this was exactly what he'd said with his ex and Armarus had gotten angry at him for devaluing what they'd been doing. And he was scare that it woud go the exact same way with Ashley, and he couldn't lose that. Not again, not like this, not with Ashley.

"Hey." He said it firmly, not yelling or snapping but trying to get Ganymede's attention. "Ganymede. Stop." Ashley wasn't sure what happened or why he looked like he was going to fall apart. All he could think was that he had gone way too far with a joke and felt horrible. "What the fuck do you mean rabbits? Can...can you just like take a deep breath for me and calm down and talk to me? I don't know what is going on right now but I'm so fucking sorry I joked about Grindr."

Ashley looked as concerned as he sounded. "Baby, please, talk to me." He said softly his hands curling gently around his lovers upper arms.

He looked up at Ashley, obviously fearful as he sucked in a breath and slowly, terribly slowly, blew it out.

"I--someething I said before. With...Armarus." There was no point in calling him George now and perepetuating that level of stupidity. Ashley knew what he was, what they all were, and if he didn't he'd be finding out now. Ganymede sucked in a breath and burted it out, without stopping or pausing.

"We ordered pizza and we'd been having sex and I said I wanted him to stay, I said we were screwing like--like rabbits. He was mad, he said if he'd wanted me to be a fucking rabbit he'd have just paid like a hooker when we first met," he finished, all in one breath and letting his head fall back against the door. "I'm sorry, baby, I don't mean we're rabbits, I don't."

"You do not owe me an apology." The only thing about what he just heard that really bothered him was knowing anyone who said they loved this man had talked to him like that. That would twist something about his past to get a jab in. It was childish and cruel in his opinion. Not something you do to a person you care about, even if they were just a friend. He's not all that surprised by it though, based on his own experiences with all of them, birds of a feather they say.

Ashley gave a light shrug of his shoulders. "We kind of are rabbits. Fuck frequently. See each other and want to go at it. Pretty accurate description if you ask me." He wasn't bothered by it at all. Kind of thought it was funny and he would have laughed if it weren't for the obvious distress Ganymede was in.

"You thought I was going to get mad at you." He sighed and rubbed his fingers against the rough hair along his jaw. "You were right. A picture of the two of us? Of course it would have looked like an invitation for a threesome. That's not what is going on here though, right? It's not about me. This is about you and whatever bullshit he got stuck in your head. Some shitty notion that joking about your sex life was disrespectful? That had to be it for the prick to talk to you like that." When he said that last bit, his voice sounded hard and agitated. "I'm not him, Ganymede. Look, I know you think he loved you...but that's not love, treating someone like that over a fucking joke. You know that. I know you know that."

Ganymede had been pressed against the wall, and as he listened and tried to process the words, he wanted to slide down the wall or shove away from Ash, but when he picked his head up and saw the look on Ashley's face he couldn't. He wanted this man too badly to leave, too badly to be anything but grasping for him for some little bit of stability.

"Ash, please," he murmured, "Please tell me you're not leaving. That you're not mad."

"I am not leaving. I am not mad." He met Ganymede's eyes and his face softened. "Baby, I just asked you to marry me. I need you to trust that I believe in what that means. Hey," Ashley let out a huff of air feeling a little lost on what to do right now and his need to punch something in the face was growing. "Come here."

Instead of letting himself get lost in the anger this made him feel for a man he couldn't take it out on because he had run to Vegas like a bitch, he picked Ganymede back up. Just as he had when they came into the house. He curled a hand around the back of his neck and an arm was under his ass to hold him up. Ashley just wrapped himself around him and buried his face into his neck. "Even if I were pissed off, I wouldn't leave. We would talk and figure it out. I know it's going to take time for you to believe that. I'm not going to give up while you're getting through this. But, I need just a little trust, that's all. You know me. I would never talk to you like that."

"I know, I know," Ganymede whispered, wanting nothing more than to be comforted for a second, though his emotions were tengled and rapidly bubbling over as he gripped Ashley's shoulders tightly. "I just...it was so stupid, it has only been a joke and he called me a whore," he breathed.

"Like that's all it was, that....he was just entertaining me. He was such a bastard," he sighed, trying to relax but not having much luck in unfurling the tight black bloom of anger. "He thought I was a prostitute when we first met. I wasn't, but I know that's what he assumed. I guess he thought the bar was just to cover it."

Well that was information that could send him right over the edge into rage. A whore. A prostitute. As if that would make him any less of a person. This wasn't about his own anger though and that wasn't fair to the man he loves. He's going through something and all Ashley can do is try to get through it with him and not make it about himself.

"First, there isn't any shame in sex work." Ashley had slept with plenty of strippers, even paid a couple to take care of him in the back room during a dry spell. They had been good, sweet girls just trying to make money like everyone else. Even dated a porn model and learned that when it came to women, he was an ass man and did not love the fake boob look. Still, just a job. Not a stain on a persons character. In general he didn't care for people who treated others like shit for how they made money. If you aren't hurting anyone and it's consensual? More power to you. "Second, coming from an asshole who has to have people paid to keep his bed warm, like they all did, his opinion of you shouldn't carry so much weight. They use people. I am so fucking sorry he used you. That he treated you like you weren't good enough for him. He knows your insecurities and he used that to control you and get what he wanted. That's all."

The last time he had talked to Jasper, to try to be a decent person and keep him from being punished for talking to Ashley about his world, he learned exactly what he had meant to him all along. Jasper had needed a warm body to make him feel again, that's all Ashley had been to him. Must run in the 'family', treating people like whores and disposing of them once they asked for what they were owed. Like respect or love. If he ever saw any of them again it would be impossible to stop him from ripping them apart. Just to stop them from doing this to anyone else.

"I don't know what to do to help you through this. But, I'm not going anywhere."

Ganymede just shook his head, shifting in Ashley's hold and wanting to get down. "I'm just... I'm fucking angry that I let him do it," he managed, wanting to take a swing at something, anything. He was just angry that he'd let himself not see it, and had tried to defend Armarus to the man holding him now. He fisted his hands, squeezing tight and picking up a decorative glass candle dish, something moderately heavy, and handy, that he could throw. That it was shaped like a sunflower, his ex's favorite flower to give him, just helped him not care about it shattering.

"I've done pornography before. And hell I've been a prostitute before. But nobody's ever called me that and wanted to make it as dirty as he did. And...I believed him. I'm such an idiot."

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